The
One Person Bird
Liz Wilson, CVT
Parrot Behavior Consultant
Lwilsoncvt@att.net
www.upatsix.com/liz
Popular parrot myths (and some parrot “experts”)
state that it is a natural behavior for many species of parrots to bond to only
one person. Consequently, most owners do nothing to prevent this behavior from
developing, and, as Blanchard puts it,
“the myth becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.” Although it may be
natural for members of many parrot species to form a strong mate-bond with one
other bird, the author feels it is illogical to assume that, once so mated, a
parrot in its natural habitat would interact only with its mate for the
remainder of its life.
On the contrary, most companion parrot
species are flock animals that interact with varying numbers of other flock
members when out of reproductive season. Hence, interaction in captivity with
only one person is contradictory to the psittacine’s social nature; it is also a common cause of pet parrots
losing their homes, with levels of aggression towards non-favorites often
escalating as the parrot approaches maturity. It is therefore important to
learn why this happens and how to help clients resolve it, as well as how to
teach clients from the beginning to prevent its development.
Despite many owners’ apparent belief,
parrots are not children. However, there are useful parallels between the two.
For example, if someone had a child that no one else, not even family members,
could approach without the child biting and screaming, would that person think
he/she had a “normal” child? The answer is obviously no, yet people accept this
aberrant behavior in parrots as routine, until more serious problems arise and
the bird becomes homeless.
It seems to me that raising a young
companion parrot is a process similar to that of raising a child. Human parents
understand their child will mature and leave the safety of their home (“leaving
the nest,” as they say). To properly prepare that child for a successful
future, they must instill him/her with the skills necessary for forming
positive relationships with other children and adults, to succeed in school, to
be able to procure and keep a good job, and to find a suitable mate. Since
psittacine birds are capable of such long life spans, a baby medium-sized or
large parrot purchased by a human adult is likely to need another home in the
future as it has the potential of outliving its owner. Accordingly, parrot
people need to raise their psittacines with the same forethought as good
parents, teaching proper boundaries for behaviors and socializing the parrot to
interact successfully with other people. Such training virtually guarantees the
parrot will transition to its future home smoothly and successfully. If these
skills are not instilled, initial caretakers actually lay the groundwork for
the psittacid’s total failure in its next home.
Choosing The Favorite Selection of a favorite person may
happen when the psittacid is very young (as early as six months for a
medium-sized parrot), but this is many years before this parrot would choose a
mate in the wild. Under these circumstances, the bird is actually exercising
control over the humans around it, not picking a lifelong companion. This is a
result of a young parrot being given far too much autonomy, asserting that a
medium-sized or larger parrot that is less than two years old is too young to
be permitted to select whom it likes and dislikes.
From my experience, a factor that
exacerbates this selection problem is the reaction of the rest of the household
to a parrot choosing a favorite: since they were not the chosen one, their
feelings are hurt. This precipitates the all-too-human reaction of, “I don’t
care, I don’t really like the bird that much, anyway.” Consequently, the other
family members withdraw their handling of the bird, and the bird rapidly
becomes habituated to only one person.
As always, prevention is easier than
trying to fix a problem later. According to Mattie Sue Athan, “In order to
maintain an outgoing and social disposition, it’s important to avoid allowing a
parrot to become overly possessive of a particular human…”
Sally Blanchard devised an extremely
useful game for people to play with their parrots, to keep them habituated to
handling from multiple people. Called Warm Potato, it is based on the
childhood game of Hot Potato, only done slowly. Involving all of the
people that wish to interact with the parrot (family members, friends, bird
sitters, etc.), they gather with the bird in neutral territory. This is
defined as a location to which the parrot has no attachments, hence no
territorial behaviors.
Sitting in a circle, the bird is passed
from one flock member to the next with the up command. On his/her turn,
each person interacts with the psittacine in a manner the bird enjoys
(depending on species and individual, for example, snuggling, grooming,
praising enthusiastically, etc.), and then passes it to the next circle member.
The process is repeated around the circle, several times.
Through this exercise, the parrot learns
that each person in the circle is a valued flock member, to be accorded
the proper respect. If this game is played weekly for the remainder of the
parrot’s life, the bird will remain tame with all the people in the household.
Designated Jobs
Non-favored individuals must also
establish their own personal relationship with the bird, separate from other
members of the household. In addition to having positive interactions in
neutral territory, each person should choose one favorite activity that they
exclusively do with the parrot.
Some examples include: The Designated
Shower Person, responsible for enabling a water-loving bird to have wildly
enthusiastic bathing experiences; The Designated Treat Person, sole
bearer of a particular special food treat; The Designated Game Person,
the chosen person for a particularly favorite parrot game. (Reverse fetch
is often a huge hit, with the bird flinging something off the cage and the
human retrieving it.)
Assigning each task with such an
important and official-sounding title especially intrigues children,
encouraging them to follow through and work with the parrot. For example, the
positive effects of this type of interaction can be seen with the author’s own
blue and gold macaw (Ara ararauna). Despite the total lack of a positive
relationship over many years, this bird sees tremendous value to my husband
when he is cooking dinner.
With perhaps only one exception (e.g.,
phobics), modification of problem behaviors in companion parrots always
begins with the same fundamental training. Through short and upbeat daily
training sessions, parrots must be patterned to respond to simple verbal
commands such as up and down. Caretakers establish themselves in a position of
control by doing this. Setting clear and consistent boundaries for pet
psittacids, owners teach their birds acceptable behavioral limits within the
human habitat. Once this training is progressing well with the parrot’s
favorite person (the FP), steps can be taken to modify the one-person bird’s
attitude towards other people.
First, the non-favored person (the NFP)
should observe a couple of lessons so he/she understands the training. Second,
the favorite should take the parrot into the training room, placing it on the
training perch. Third, the favorite person leaves the room, and a
non-preferred person then enters.
This person should then train the bird in
exactly the same manner as the FP, to maintain consistency. The non-favored
person, in this fashion, establishes himself/herself in a position of control
with the parrot. From my experience, as long as this training area is never
used for any activity other than training, it maintains its integrity as the
schoolroom, rather than losing its neutrality.
The non-preferred person now chooses one
of the parrot's favorite foods, games or toys. In the future, the parrot is
obligated to go to the non-preferred person to receive the favored item, or
play the favorite game. For example, if the parrot loves sunflower seed treats,
then the non-preferred person becomes the Designated Sunflower Seed Person,
exclusively. This individual has now gained tremendous value in the parrot's
eyes.
Under no circumstance should the preferred person tolerate any psittacine aggression towards other people. If a parrot shows aggression towards others, it is imperative that the preferred person should instantly give the bird an extremely dirty look and say No in a quiet but exceedingly displeased voice, then turn his/her back on the bird. The favorite person is then using psittacine body language to express displeasure in the bird’s behavior. As always, prevention is the best tactic and the favored person should constantly be aware of a parrot’s body language around other people, as this will inform him/her of the bird’s intensions before anyone gets hurt.
As a response to their bird’s aggression, preferred people often pick their birds up to reprimand them. If so, their parrots will learn that biting carries the reward of being returned to their favorite – which is NOT the message that should be conveyed. Since drama is also a reward, the preferred people should also not shout at a biting parrot. It is also important for favorite people understand that, amusing though it may to them to watch their parrot chase their spouse, laughter is a powerful reinforcer.
Recipients of psittacine aggression need to react quickly or the parrot will not make the connection between aggression and the reprimand. They should immediately give the bird intense direct eye contact in the form of a dirty look, saying no firmly (but not loudly). The second the parrot’s body language is no longer aggressive, people should provide positive reinforcement, such as smiling and verbally rewarding the bird for following their instructions. The aggressive incident is over, and no one should hold a grudge.
Favorite people may actually
exacerbate overbonding, consciously or otherwise. They may claim to want the
problem fixed, but that often is not the case at all. Lay parrot behaviorists
commonly see situations where favorite people may unconsciously encourage
overbonding and aggression towards others. They may talk obsessively about how
attached their birds are to them, and verbalize concerns about "what will
happen" if he/she dies. Some individuals go so far as to put it in their
wills to euthanize their birds in the event of their death, because the birds
"can't live without them."
Other people are more blatant,
actually bragging that their bird disallows handling by anyone else – such as
the woman who smiled slyly at the author and said conspiratorially, “He HATES
my husband.” Many actually appear to enjoy that their parrot is aggressive with
other people. Consciously or not, a bird’s overbonding and subsequent
aggression is being rewarded in situations like these. Accordingly, these
parrots will not change their behavior until the favored people realize that their
behavior must change.
However, many of these people find (to
their intense dismay) that their beloved parrot is capable of changing its
attitude towards them. It is not unusual for an over-bonded young parrot to
abruptly switch bonds as it matures, often to a family member who has never
shown any interest in the bird at all.
Lay behaviorists are not sure why this
happens, but in some cases, it might be a natural response to an overly smothering
relationship with the former favorite. The author has found it useful to warn
favored people of this very real possibility. The threat of losing the
relationship with a parrot will sometimes encourage these people to work
diligently to change the patterns they established that led to a parrot
becoming a one-person bird.
Many parrot owners brag proudly that
their birds perceive them as their mate. However, while such devotion is
flattering, this is not physically or psychologically healthy for the bird.
When a human allows or even encourages such behavior by petting their birds in
what psittacids perceive as a sexual manner (e.g., all-body stroking, back
and/or tail stroking), this often leads to confusion and frustration for the parrots.
A fitting parallel would be if one’s spouse were to constantly act in a
sexually stimulating manner, then get up and walk away. Understandably,
“teasing” such as this can escalate aggressive behaviors from the bird towards
all the people around it. Companion parrots need to understand that they are
loved and cherished by their caretakers, but that the human is not their
mate.
Conversely, sexual behaviors such as
masturbation and regurgitation to a loved one should never be punished. These
are natural behaviors, and human values have no application here. However, such
actions should never be encouraged. When humans are the recipients of such
behaviors, they should not overreact. Instead, they should simply remove the
bird (or themselves) from the situation.
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This updated
article was first published in the
Association of
Avian Veterinarians, 2000